School Update

School is going great...

I'm so excited because I got a 98% on my Math test this week...and I'm excited because in high school I always passed Math with a "C" (and I got a "C" instead of a lower grade because I would always do the extra credit he gave us)...both Math & Science are definitely not my subjects. I think that a 98% is probably the best grade I got on a Math test in all of high school (if not junior high as well). I also got a 98% on my Recommendation Essay for English on the Death Penalty. That must be my lucky number this week. Its also exciting because my test grades in Math have gone up on all three tests. The downside is my grade in my Computer Information class isn't the best...but at this rate hopefully it will get better.

I think that just about sums up the start of my week. I'll let you know how the rest of the week goes.

Confused...

I don't know whether I'm happy or irritated...

I'm happy because for the first time in 4 years I'm dating someone, we get along great, and have so much in common. I'm happy because I got my tax return back and was able to buy myself something nice for the first time in a long time...

The last time I, as in me specifically, got a new TV was a 13 inch that I got at the end of 8th grade. So since I think that I worked hard the last few years and deserve it, I upgraded to a 32 inch. There's other reasons I've been happy too...like school is good, I'm healthy, etc.

Even though I'm happy there are things that are irritating me too...like that I'm 20 years old but I can't be in charge of my own money. I know that I shouldn't be greedy...and I'm not being that way...its just irritating that I'm going to school while my Dad sits at home watching TV all day and my unemployment goes into "the family finances pool" because my Dad won't look for jobs. He did get a job for like a week but it was all commission and they expected him to put out all this money even before he got a paycheck. I could keep going on and on but it would just be boring and I would look like a stuck up brat. But I'm not...I just wish I didn't have to grow up so fast...I've had to help the family out with money since I was 15 and its not fair...I'm just getting tired of it.

So again...I don't know whether to be happy or irritated. Hopefully someday everything will get better...and hopefully that will be soon. Til then I'll just be a big bundle of irritated fun, but I'll try to keep a smile on my face.

I'm thankful for Family...

I've been complaining a little bit lately about my family and how they're kind of getting my nerves. I have to say honestly though that I've been regretting my impatience with them. I would like to send a thank you to my parents for always being there for us kids. I would also like to give a huge thank you to my Mom for teaching us kids the meaning of family. Its very important to her to be close to her family, even if they don't talk every day or even every month, she is still close to them. Because of this, family is the most important thing to me and when I say that I don't just mean my parents & siblings, I mean my extended family too. That includes my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, etc. The other night, I was on the computer late and found that my second cousin was online. We grew up together and now she lives in Arizona, but it was really nice being able to sit there and talk with her for a while. I was also looking at pictures recently. I scanned some old pictures of my immediate family & I onto the computer & put them on Facebook and I also saved some pictures of extended family members that they have posted onto their Facebook. All of this reminded me that no matter what happens or how much my family irritates me, they are still my family and they mean the world to me. I'm glad that I look forward to family reunions, instead of dreading them like some people may. And its nice that my Mom's family is close. Sadly I can't say the same for my Dad's family. Yes he loves his family, we all do, but we're not as close to his side of the family like we are my Mom's. I I live closer to almost all of my cousins on Dad's side, but I don't have a relationship with them and its sad. We also aren't really close to his sisters and it would be killing my Grandma Hanes if she were still alive. Its odd that we aren't close to my Dad's side, but it seems like we run into family members all the time. I wish I could say that both sides of my family were equally close, but I can't. Hopefully someday that will change, but until then I can hold onto the knowledge that I have so many family members I'm close to on my Mom's side. Thank you so much Mom for giving me that.

Not much is new...

...but here's something. I'm still doing well, Mom is stressed as usual having to work a full time job, deal with my brother and sisters, and keep all the bills paid, Dad has a job interview today (finally...I'm so tired of him being home so much), Amanda is doing well in school (I'm not surprised...but I am tired of German questions all the time), and Kristina is also doing well in school, both of the girls have some serious attitudes though.

For me...school is doing well, to my surprise I got an A- on my Math test, I also got 99% out of 100 on my first English essay and my teacher loved it (I did it on Fibromyalgia...if anyone wants information please let me know), my Criminal Justice class is good so far, and I'm not too sure what to think about my Computer class.

The pets are all good...its Salem's time of the month though, there's always one week of every month that Salem just wants to spend all day everyday in my bedroom alone, he likes the time away from the other cats and would like it a whole lot better if I could spend more time in there with him...

All the other cats are good...Teddy is a grumpy old man, Tyger just sleeps all the time (and I think he's senile...CJ is mean to him all the time...and when Salem went to snuggle him he smacked Salem because CJ looks like Salem...I felt so bad for Salem), Timmy is a loud mouth, Sid Vicious is a sweetheart (the silent, strong type), Maddy keeps getting on the kitchen counters and is causing problems, CJ has a really bad attitude right now (he needs his claws and boy parts removed), Smokey is an adorable midget cat (he also reminds us of Benjamin Button...he looks like a little old man getting younger as he gets older), and Kasper is an adorable little monster.

China is doing good...she's not too happy about the puppies but eventually she'll get over it. I feel so bad for her though because she's outside almost all the time, she's getting old, and she sucks on her bad paw all the time so you can tell it hurts her and it looks really bad.

The puppies great...they're getting so big so quick...Nanook wants attention all the time and if one of his brothers is getting attention he whines because he's jealous, Bear is a huge sweetheart, if you yell at him for doing something bad he'll follow you around to make sure you're not mad at him, and he looks sad almost all the time, and Lucky (or Mr. Piddles) is so funny because he's half the size of his brothers but acts likes he's the biggest and baddest of the bunch.

So that's about it on the home front...

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I feel like I'm going one step forward and two steps back. I'm definitely happy, but it seems like if something good happens to me, something bad or irritating has to happen too. For example...I'm getting a decent tax return back and I was telling my Mom what I was going to do with it, and as if I don't do enough for them already, she does her little hint dropping thing and says, "well if your Dad & I had the money, we would buy drywall to finish our room, and then you could move into our old room." Its like, "come on Mom, your little 'hints' are more irritating then coming right out and saying 'can we have money', plus I already have a bunch of stuff on my credit for you and you include my unemployment in your income to pay bills, why can't I enjoy this money for me." It seems like I can't have any fun with my money...all I do is pay bills. Then yesterday Mom, Chris, & I were talking about our road trip, how much it would cost each of us, and can Chris afford it, and Mom has the nerve to say, "well it depends on how much Randa spends on the trip." AHHHHH!!!!! I would spend more on the trip if you weren't asking me for money for everything else!!! This is why I HATE being an adult. Plus to add to all of it my Dad is ok treating me like an adult when they want something from me, but when they don't he treats me like I'm 10 and don't know anything. He was being a real jerk to me last night. If I were mean I would call and have his phone, the TV, and internet OFF and I would take the big screen TV into my room...its all in my name anyways. And my Mom and I were talking about my taxes and I asked if I was eligible for the property tax credit because I pay rent, she said yes and my Dad said, "well then pay rent." Then he said he was just kidding. I don't think he was just kidding and he doesn't realize that it really hurts that he says stuff like that. If you've ever watched "That 70's Show" you know the Dad on there is Red Forman...that is my Dad. I also wish he would get a job already, I'm SO tired of him being home all the time. He's being a grumpy old jerk but I can't tell him that because he'll go to his room and pout or he'll tell me "if you don't like it then move out."

I just need to say "NO!" to my parents more often. But I think no matter what, I'm going to be taking one step forward and two steps back.

Sneakin around...

If you've ever seen one of my favorite movies, titled "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas", then you've heard the song that goes: "I like fancy frilly things, high heeled shoes and diamond rings, ragtime bands and western swing, and sneakin' around with you...well I like beer and rodeos, detective books and dominoes, football games and cheerios, and sneakin' around with you...sneakin' around with you, going a round or two, doing what lovers do, whenever they're sneakin' around...". And although I don't have that lifestyle (everything italicized), it popped into my head after what my mom told me earlier about my guy friend. He was talking to my mom about how I should go over to his house to do movie night, but was worried about what people at his apartment complex would think (he lives at the apartment complex my mom manage's). She was telling him that it doesn't matter what anybody thinks because we're adults and we can do whatever we want. And its funny that of all the things I could be thinking, that song is still stuck in my head.

Well anyways...everything is going good here. School is going well, I love hanging out with Chris, my family is good (even though my Dad and sisters are kinda getting on my nerves), the puppies - Nanook, Bear, and Lucky (or Mr. Piddles as we like to call him) - are doing good...little monsters...we came up with a new breed of dog - its called a "Tazmanian Chihuahua"...

My parents, Chris, and I are planning a road trip in May. We'll go visit my grandparents and my mom's sisters in the Nauvoo area, then we'll do a quick tour of St. Louis, next is couple days in Texas visiting some friends, and last onto Memphis & Nashville to see Graceland (a dream come true for me) and the capital of Country Music. Nine days of beautiful scenery, fun filled days of tourism, and visiting friends and family. Oh I can't wait.

Other than that its just nice to be happy...happy to be me, happy to be hanging out with a great guy that I have a lot in common with, happy to be doing something worth while...just happy. I haven't felt this way in a long time.