Tiger

Well, after almost 13 long years of being part of our family, our cat Tiger passed away Friday morning. We will definitely miss him.










R.I.P. Tiger, we love you.

I started another blog but this time it isn't me complaining. Instead every week I'm going to post a poem that I have written in the past. The website is: www.cats-cradle-poetry.blogspot.com. I hope you enjoy.

What a week...

This week was crazy...it started with cleaning the hallways at my Mom's work and it ended with me completely exhausted, but I won't leave it at that...I'll explain all the gory details...

So Monday I cleaned the hallways at the apartment complex my Mom manages and of course that was "loads of fun". Wednesday I went the Chiropractor then started counseling. Even though I can vent on here, it isn't enough. I need someone to talk to face to face, someone to tell how I feel, and although I do have friends I can call, not everybody wants to hear my problems, especially when its just a repeat of past problems. One appointment and I've been told I have Mild Anxiety and Mild Depression, neither one am I really surprised about. So we'll see how that goes and hopefully I can get better.

Wednesday night I packed up some much needed stuff, then finished up some stuff on the computer...which lead to lighting hitting my house and me getting electrocuted (maybe seriously shocked is a better explanation). Here's how it happened...I was stupidly using my computer during a thunderstorm, lightning struck my house, and a shock went through my computer mouse, into my hand. I can remember all of a sudden feeling a shock in my hand, my mouse flying up in the air, and my hand letting go. There was this shocking pain in my hand along with a really strong, weird tingling in my hand, arm, and leg. It seriously scared me half to death. My arm and hand were tingling for a couple hours after it happened, and I was too stunned to go to bed right away.

Thursday my Mom and I got up early, packed our suitcases in our friend's car, and headed out for our much needed trip to Mackinac Island (pictures will be added soon). We got to Mackinac City about 2:00 and crossed the Mackinac Bridge (just to cross it), then crossed it again before getting on a ferry to the Island. We got to the Island, dragged our stuff to the hotel, checked in, and headed to our rooms. To our surprise, our friend's room wasn't clean, and next thing my Mom & I know, we're upgraded to a larger room with a view of main street and the lake. Mom & I laid down for a little bit before starting our fun filled walk around the Island. That first night we walked like 3-4 miles, around the lake, under Arch Rock, up a bunch of stairs, above Arch Rock, through the woods, past beautiful old houses, etc. We had dinner at the Island House, where there were a million obnoxious kids, before heading to bed for the night.

Friday we got up early again, ate breakfast (oh and if you ever stay on Mackinac Island, The Murray Hotel has wonderful customer service and one of the best continental breakfasts I've ever had), did some shopping, then picked up Kristina at the ferry dock for her day trip to the Island. That day we walked probably another 6 miles around the Island. We walked along the lake shore (where I took some beautiful pictures), past the Grand Hotel, past the Governor's Mansion, through the woods, past Skull Cave, cemeteries, more beautiful houses, etc. After dropping Kristina off at the ferry dock after lunch, Mom & I laid down for a little while before shopping and dinner. We had a great dinner at the Pink Pony, where our waitress was wonderful. After dinner we walked over to the lake to see the Mackinac Bridge lit up, it was beautiful.

Saturday we packed up our stuff before going shopping (in just about every store), of course bought fudge (our friend probably at like 5 lbs of fudge the entire trip). After lunch, and freezing, we caught the ferry, left the Island, and headed for home. It was a wonderful trip, even though we were worn out from all the walking. I already miss being there, it was so nice being on Mackinac Island, and I'm seriously considering moving there after college (and I'm not at all joking).

My Mom and I were able to relax a little in the car before coming home and having to deal with some problems Rion was having. We met Rion at the hospital emergency room, I hadn't seen him since he threatened my Mom in early April, and I wasn't ready to see him. I thought I would be ok seeing him, but it wasn't. I'm still not ready, and probably won't be for a while, we'll see.

Well that was my week, full of some work and some fun. Now I start my crazy summer.

One more sad thing...

So as many of my family and friends know, we have quite a few pets. We have: China (our 11-year-old Husky), Nanook, Bear, & Lucky (our 5-month-old boys), Tyger & Teddy (our 13-year-old biological brothers), Timmy, Sid Vicious, Maddy, Salem Precious (my very sweet baby), Smokey, Niglet, and Casper (aka Little Monster, Devil in Disguise, etc)

Ok, so now to the point...we've had Tyger & Teddy for 12 years now and sadly we don't think Tyger's going to make it much longer. We're praying and hoping, but what I hope is that he'll be able to pass on quickly and painlessly. I love every single one of my pets, but I don't want to see Tyger suffer. So hopefully his suffering will come to an end soon.

The other day I was upset about being let down by one of my best friends and thought to myself...

"What is it about me that attracts the hurt of not having a true best friend? It seems like no matter what, I'm left with the knowledge that my friends only need me when it seems good for them. I know people get busy and they have their own lives, but true best friends make time, and it seems like it’s just not in the cards for me. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that makes time for my friends. These are the same friends that call me cause they need to talk, but never call me any other time. I automatically try to find the good in people, but only a percentage actually turn out good. Is it this trust why I get hurt so often? If not, then why do I get hurt so much? I've come to the conclusion that it’s easier to stay at home, thinking about how lonely I am & missing my best friends, rather than going out and getting hurt. My loneliness is bringing me the edge of insanity and I don't know what to do to break the curse."

...And although I do still kind of feel this way, I need to remember, even if it's hard, that "it's better to give than to receive", "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all", etc.

Hopefully everything will get better soon.

One semester down...

So I successfully completed my overloaded first semester of college. I know it doesn't seem like much to some, but 4 classes was one too many for me, but I passed with flying colors. I completed the semester with A's in English & Criminal Justice and B's in Math & Computers. I'm so happy with the outcome of the semester. In the last class for English, my teacher and I talked one on one, she quickly read through my final essay (on Polygamy's negative effect on the Mormon Church), and ended with saying it was beautifully written and that I'm a wonderful writer. I was so glad my paper turned out well. A week before, in English class, I did the oral presentation for my paper and it took me like 20 minutes. My classmates asked me so many questions about the Church, Temples, and our beliefs. I was extremely nervous answering all those questions, worrying whether they would understand what I was saying, or think I was crazy. I think it went well. My Computer class, on the other hand, had me worried the entire semester. The class was so hard, it was hard to understand what was being said, and it was really hard to successfully take the tests. But, to my surprise, I didn't fail the course (like I expected), no, I passed with a B- when I was more than willing to settle for a C-.

So school went well. Now I'm signed up for a summer class and I'm fitting it in with Michigan's Adventure. Another one of my crazy, workaholic summers is on the way, but until then, I'll enjoy the little bit of break I have, sleeping as much as I can, as well as sitting around, doing nothing.

Good Choices

As most of you know, we've been having problems with my brother again. Last week was rough because my Mom was spending almost all of her time on Rion and it was driving me crazy. It really irritates me sometimes that Rion can seriously hurt the family, but a couple weeks later my Mom will act like nothing happened, and not letting him really take the blame for what he did. For instance, he'll ask for money and she'll just hand it over, like we have all the money in the world to give to my delinquent, irresponsible brother. But I didn't really want to come on and start complaining as usual. What I wanted to say was...

For the first time I think my brother might do something responsible and good for him. He has the chance to go to a college-type housing in Kalamazoo for people with problems and mental disabilities. It's free and includes, housing, food, college classes, etc. I was talking to my Mom the other day about how Rion should do it, but probably won't because he doesn't want to take responsibility for his life. But to my surprise he's probably going to do it. Right now Rion's dating this girl he met at the halfway house he was staying in, they got to know each other and they've become attached to each other. They've decided that if they're still together in the fall, they'll probably get married. My hope is that they will help each other become better, that they'll go to that place in Kalamazoo together, and they'll both change for the better. I haven't seen Rion since what happened but I wrote him a letter saying that I can't see him for a while, but he'll ALWAYS be my little brother, and I'll ALWAYS love him. I also wrote that I really think he should go to the place in Kalamazoo and that I wish him the best. Hopefully it made an impact on him and he'll truly decide to take charge of his life and make a difference. Someday, when I'm feeling better, I'll be able to see him again, but until then I wish him the best of luck.